Well Enough

Forms of cancer, such as multiple myeloma, are often referred to as "chronic disease." Although I am healthy and well, there remains the potential for the cells to go haywire once again. I am relieved for now to know my most recent checkup tells me that all is well with my blood and bones. I move on with life with more and more confidence.

People who get sick do get better.

As a child, I was fascinated by the tale of Heidi in the Swiss Alps, especially the part about the crippled friend who is healed in the fresh mountain air. As a young woman, I tasted the pioneering hippie towns in the Rocky Mountains on my way to California, but it was not until years later that I found my way to Red Feather Lakes to visit the Shambhala Mountain Center.

During my last visit there six years ago for a Thanksgiving weekend meditation retreat, I joined a guided group hike on a crisp afternoon. The leaves crackled underfoot as we silently wandered the land. After climbing a steep trail, the guide instructed us to keep eyes shut while she lead each of us up to a ridge. We were then asked to repeat the phrase...This is my mountain home...three times before opening our eyes to the most unexpected vista.

Awestruck and inspired, I swallowed the words whole. This is my mountain home.

Refreshed and renewed, I returned to my city home in Denver. One year later I grew mysteriously ill. Diagnosed with multiple myeloma, I spent the following year in-and-out of hospitals, treatment, and healing. Now residing far from the high altitudes in my hometown on the edge of the Great Lakes, Niagara Falls and Erie Canal...I am well.

My landlord recently died and I must soon move out of my lovely rental home. Packing belongings now, I carefully wrap the small square painting on my wall...tin toy airplane affixed to blue-grey painted wood with collaged words at home in the world. Made fifteen years ago, it has become integral to my mobile environment that has been moved from one dwelling place to another.

Being well is being at home in the world, moment-by-moment, living with impermanence.